The desire to be loved by all

many people

A few days ago, I spoke to a lady at my son’s art class. Her granddaughter attends the same class. One of the topics we touched upon as we were chatting was on the people around us. We were talking about people liking us or not and she said something very profound. She said “there are many people who will accept you as you are and as far as the others are concerned, they are not worth your time”. At the age she is at, this is wisdom talking. Not that everyone learns from life as they grow older (chronological age and mental age are two different concepts) but she had.

In my twenties, it would gladden my heart when someone appreciated me (it still does) and it would crush my heart if someone criticized me (I am getting better at regaining my balance much more quickly than before. Ten years ago, it would take me two years or two months to get over something which made me sad. Now it takes me two days or two hours or just two minutes. Many times, instead of making me sad or irritated, it amuses me as now I understand the process of creation. I understand how we create our life experiences). In my early thirties, I realized that there will be people who love me for who I am and there will be people who will not love me and that’s okay. I found the place within me which was okay with some people not liking me. Someone’s criticism of me wasn’t an indictment on me 🙂 . Each one of us has a right to decide whom we want to appreciate and whom we do not want to appreciate.

I also realized that what others feel has nothing to do with us. Now that is a big one. Even though when others criticize us, they point to qualities within us which they do not like so it does seem to be that we are the reason but if we delve, we will realize that even before they met us that day, they were already feeling like criticizing. They were already in a negative mood predominantly either just before meeting us or for some days before or even for many years before. And there must be something in our vibration (what we were predominantly feeling generally or on a particular topic) that day (or for many days or years before) which attracted them to us and the universe just put us together.

This is not a universe of exclusion. This is a universe of attraction and you attract by giving thought. Whatever you focus on, the essence of that gets attracted in your life. The law of attraction states “life attracts like”. What we are feeling (and not what we are saying) attracts more to feel the same. So if you are feeling predominantly positive, you attract more life experiences to feel even more positive. If you are feeling predominantly negative, you attract more to feel even more negative about. The law of attraction is a universal law just like the law of gravity. We use our knowledge of the law of gravity in order to make our lives easy. We can do the same with our knowledge of the law of attraction.

So the answer is simple. If you do not want people who criticize you in your life, stop giving them attention by giving attention to people whom you like to spend time with, who love and appreciate you. Did I hear a question “what if I like someone who does not like me?” Now that is deep. Here the question is “how much do you love yourself?” “Do you think these are the kind of experiences you would like to have in your life – i.e. liking someone who does not like you?” “Do you think you are worthy of people whom you love and who love you too?”. These are questions you might want to answer in order to have the kind of experiences you want.


photo credit – kazuend via


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